DimJoe Biden Revealed

Joe Biden has a long history of personal embellishment completely detached from reality.  He’s like that annoying guy in the office you nickname “Topper” because no matter what you say or do, he’s been there, done that, better than you.  I once worked with a guy like this and we started inventing stories just to see how far he’d go.  Coworker: “I hit a hole in one this weekend!”  Topper: “one time I hit a hole-in-one, and it bounced out of the cup and landed on the next green.  I finished 25 under.”  It was hysterically funny and it took him a very long time to realize that the joke was on him.

In that vein, The Railer stumbled upon this anti-Biden campaign spot courtesy of Restoration PAC.  This is deliciously rich even by the low standards of politicians.  Here’s a word-for-word transcript of Biden’s comments at this New Hampshire campaign event in 1987.  Speaking to a citizen, he filibusters:

I think I probably have a much higher IQ than you do, I suspect.  I went to law school on a full academic scholarship, the only one in my, in my, class.  In fact, I ended up in the top half of my class.  I was the outstanding student in the political science department at the end of my year.  I graduated with 3 degrees and I’d be delighted to sit down and compare my IQ to yours if you’d like, frankly.

Let’s look at these rapid fire claims one by one.

  • Full Academic Scholarship.            LIE, it was a half scholarship.
  • Top half of his class.                       LIE, he graduated near the bottom.
  • Named outstanding student.         LIE, never happened.
  • Graduated with 3 degrees.             LIE, he earned just one.

WARNING: STRONG IMAGERY FOLLOWS.  The Railer is an engineer, not a god-damned psychologist.  Say that in your best Star Trek Dr. McCoy voice.  But he nonetheless spots something VERY interesting at the end of the clip.  Get out your shiv, because we’re about to vivisect a former Vice-President.  Now watch it again and don’t blink or you’ll miss it.   In the last second Joe licks his lips as soon as they stop flapping.  This stirred a few near dormant neurons and sure enough, that’s a classic liar’s tell.  Now, plunge the shiv, twist, and start the cut.

Lying puts a lot of stress on the body, and a major symptom of high stress is a dry mouth. Hence, why liars will lick their lips more than usual.

So there it is.  Senator Full-of-Himself didn’t suffer some momentary memory lapse as he later claimed.  He was lying and he damn well knew it.

Joe Biden is a guppy-brained large-mouthed bass trying to run with the big tuna.  It is a testament to both the power of incumbency and semiconscious Delaware voters that he was returned to the swamp over and over again.  Knowing full well that he is actually a dullard, Joe overcompensates with fiction and braggadocio.  He boasts of his amazing IQ because he knows that in reality it is middling double digits.  So there it is, everything you need to know about DimJoe (code name used by his Chinese handlers) as revealed in a few seconds of unscripted video.  You’re welcome.