Note: The Railer is back after an extended hiatus. After completing a large and lengthy project it is time to again wield the flaming pen of righteous truths.
The following is a true transcript of Kamala Harris’ recent Democratic Convention acceptance speech.
Hello Chicago! Hello convicted and preconvicted union members, gay people, trans people, non-binary people, gender fluid people, non-people furries, pedos, and non-citizens! I warmly accept your nomination as the Democrat Party candidate for President of the United States! (standing ovation, long applause)
I was a privileged Indian-American, assigned at birth, dot not feather (cackles), the daughter of two university professors. My mother worked in medical research and my father in Marxist Economics. My father, born in Jamaica of Indian descent, was recruited as the first professor to teach Marxist theory at Stanford University. His unique perspective combining peasant collectivism and my family’s history of slave ownership has shaped my views of proletariat control and guided my personal journey to the ruling class. I’m proud of that heritage, as it closely mirrors that of our savior, Barack Obama. He to0 is the son of a Marxist Professor, raised by a single unfit mother with a family legacy of slave ownership. Like me, he lays false claim to blackness although there was nothing authentically black about our childhoods, or the families that raised us. But like Elizabeth Warren, a heroic self-identified Native American lacking any actual heritage, who has used that privilege to advance her career at every step, I made a conscious decision to identify as black. I am now who I can be, a trans-racial black woman, unburdened of who I was. That’s more important, more impactful, than merely being born to that privilege.
My early years were idyllically left coast America. I lived in Berkeley and rode a red bus to an elementary school in the affluent Berkeley Hills. My parents loved the far-left protests and riots. They were daily celebrations in what we affectionately called “New Moscow.” Later, as a teen, we moved to Canada and there I learned the importance of promoting the economic interests of other nations, how their prosperity is more important than America’s. I also developed a love of government health care, how it didn’t work, but more importantly, it didn’t work for anyone. In Canada, they have perfect health equity, perfect health justice. We all shared the same level of poor care. I grew to resent those who went south, who used their ill-gotten capitalist gains to buy inequitable care in the United States. As President, I will stop access to superior care by those with insurance or who are willing to pay for it. Private payors will see a 100% tax on their medical care and prescription drugs, and I will use that money to support healthcare in the Third World. (applause)
Leaving childhood, I began my university studies in Montreal, but longed to return to the United States. To cement my new chosen identity as a powerful American Black woman I attended and graduated from Howard University. It was an academically inferior school, but I was an academically inferior student. But it was our nation’s most recognized HCBU, a Federally chartered identity politics showcase in the center of Washington, D.C. There, I felt authentic, special. After Howard I enrolled at the University of California Law School in San Francisco, where my love of Marxian economics and destructive social policies were embraced, not shunned. I failed the bar exam on the first try due to the cultural and racial bias of the day, but it didn’t prevent me from landing my first job as a Deputy District Attorney in Alameda County. A white person failing the bar exam would have been turned away, but as an African-American woman, those dualities of democracy did not apply to me. I didn’t just fall out of a coconut tree, I was entitled to the position, credentialed or not. I didn’t earn it, but I deserved it.
After 8 years there, like many young women, I fell in love. He was twice my age, married, but as the politically powerful Mayor of San Francisco he could open doors. And he did. Our love was like a Venn Diagram. There was Willie’s circle, my circle, and “us” in the middle. When the local District Attorney began investigating my lover for corruption, he launched my campaign to replace that prosecutor, and we did. It was a win-win, boosting both of our careers as diverse California political powerbrokers. We were together for two short years, but Willie Brown has been there for me at every step since, later landing me positions on two state regulatory boards and the donor rich board of the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. As Willie rose to ever higher positions of state power, he lifted me to California Attorney General, and finally to United States Senator. I will never forget my years under Willie Brown, but as President, I will finally be on top. (applause)
Critics like to call me “Heels Up Harris.” I embrace that title. As Hillary Clinton’s and Barack Obama’s communist mentor Saul Alinsky used to say, “by any means necessary.” Well, I’m here! I’ve run for President twice now without ever receiving a single vote for President, but I’m here! (applause) Sorry Gavin! (cackles and doubles over laughing) My entire political career, and how I attained it, is a victory for all women. (applause)
Along the way as State Attorney General I pioneered California’s soft-on-crime approach that has decriminalized most offenses, expanded drug use and distribution, returned felons to the street, and replaced prison guards with counselors. And when criminals ambushed and killed police officers, I stood firm between them and the death penalty. I believe criminals deserve every chance, not just a first, second, or third. I’ve called for defunding the police, raised bail for rioting BLM arsonists, and created other crime and disorder promotion policies. I stand by those. Our cities need those criminals, they are the lifeblood of our families, of our communities, of our party, and I will defend them with my last breath. (applause)
What I will not defend though is illegal guns. The homeowner who shoots a midnight intruder. The physically abused woman who shoots a husband armed only with a knife. The Zionist jewelry store owner who shoots a three-time armed black felon smashing his glass cases, killing a man who only seeks economic justice. The white cop returning fire on a Hispanic teen, but hasn’t himself been shot yet. The elderly white man who keeps a gun in his car when work sends him to a diverse, drug and crime infested community. The hunter who keeps the New Jersey deer population in check. And imagine, if you can, what if the January 6th insurrectionists had been armed with guns instead of plastic horned hats and American flags. These are the kinds of people and shootings we must stop. (applause)
I want to take those guns away, from radical extremist MAGA voters, from white people who have not yet committed a crime, but might someday. From veterans, from hunters from the Amish, and finally, from racist black cops in urban police forces across this nation who are killing our youths who look like Obama’s son. But who needs guns? Who needs guns? It’s not an idle question. (finger in the air)
Gang members need guns (pounds podium), to protect themselves from other gang members, to maintain the boundaries of their distribution territories, to enforce discipline on their human trafficking victims and the income they provide, but most of all, to protect themselves from the police. My open border and decriminalization policies will ensure that gang members, and only gang members, have the guns they need. (applause)
Chicago! Your great mayor, Brandon Johnson, along with my sister in the struggle, our Soros hand-selected District Attorney Kim Foxx, have already put most of my criminal justice and gun policies into effect here, in this great city, and the results are amazing! Murder is up 50% since 2019. And you thought it couldn’t possibly go higher (cackles). Well, we’re just getting started! (applause)
I look forward to bringing Chicago style social justice and criminal justice reform policies to cities across our land. Where we are, and are now, and will be beyond now, used to be called the Windy City. But today, Chicago is called the Murder Capital of our great nation. Long may it reign! (applause)
I’ve spent most of my life in California. California is a border state. I’ve never been to the border, but I saw a map once and someone pointed to it. The border is a place where two nations meet. They meet at the border, their people meet at the border. Their ideals and dreams meet at the border. A border is more than just a line on a map, it’s a line on our world, a world we share, with borders, but should be without. But I don’t believe in borders. Hillary Clinton doesn’t believe in borders. Joe Biden doesn’t believe in borders. Barack Obama doesn’t believe in borders. We Democrats, WE Democrats, don’t… believe… in… borders! (standing ovation, applause)
As President, I’m going to erase our border. Although we sometimes call America a nation of immigrants, we will no longer have immigrants. Everyone in the world is now welcome here, there will be no immigrants in America, every person in the world will be a citizen of America. On day one, I will sign an executive order making anyone on or off United States soil a citizen, with more rights than Americans enjoy today. We will welcome our new fellow citizens with free housing, free healthcare, free food, free education, free transportation, free Obama phones, the right to vote, and a guaranteed income without the burden of work. And I promise, solemnly promise, that I will never arrest you. Bring us your sick, your poor, your infirm, your criminals, your gangs, your drugs, your diseases. We will welcome them all, generously, with an open heart, to our growing world family. (applause)
What, however, we will not welcome, are Israelis, or Jews. On Monday night, President Biden said that “the pro-Palestinian protesters outside have a point.” I say that they have much more than a point. Their chants demand answers. God’s chosen people already enjoy unearned privilege, the privilege of God, but with or without God’s privilege we will not abet their continued abuse of God’s humanity. Jews are the oldest and lowest kind of colonizers and oppressors. As President, I will instruct my Secretary of State to meet with Iran, Afghanistan, Yemen, and Muslim majority states throughout the Middle East, to discuss the eradication of the historic pestilence now occupying Palestinian land. (applause)
Senator Schumer is working with my campaign on the details even now. In the final phase, we will invite Jews inhabiting other lands, lands like ours, lands everywhere, to first return to the occupied territory so that the compassionate freedom loving people of the world can attain a final solution to this historic challenge. 10/7 was a heroic and celebrated start, not an end. This will take time, but together, we can finish this multi-Millenia long struggle. (applause)
I spoke earlier about my support for defunding the police. I want to do the same thing with the world. I will work with my Democrat comrades in the House and Senate to completely defund, and disband, our military. For too long, American power has enforced peace, but peace on our terms, peace based on who we are, not who we were, but who we want to be tomorrow. We’ve hobbled or removed foreign leaders, we’ve opposed the people’s revolutions, we’ve lashed out in anger over small infractions of our territory like 9/11. When everyone in the world is an American citizen, why do we need a military to attack them? Our military has been the world’s policeman, an unwelcome imposer of Christo-capitalist values. Those days are over! (applause)
Joe and Hunter “Bohai Harvest” Biden, Eric “Bang Bang with Fang Fang” Swallwell (cackles) I love you Eric, Bill Clinton, the OG of Chinese campaign finance, and my Vice President nominee, “Tiananmen” Tim Walz, have agreed to head up a new commission tasked with dispersing our military assets, including our unnecessary nuclear weapons. China has an enormous challenge in the vast Pacific Ocean to defend the rights of our new citizenry there, and these great Americans will negotiate the transfer of our naval assets to the Chinese People’s Naval Forces. Each member of my team has strong ties to the Chinese People’s Forces. But Tim Walz has been working for China for more than 30 years now. Tim picked the Anniversary of Tiananmen Square as his wedding date, in celebration of the People’s victory over reactionary antisocial agitators, and spent his honeymoon in China to express his unity with the People’s Revolution. Tim puts China first, and he will do so in this mission. Thank you Tim! (applause)
Our Air Force planes and air defense systems will go to Russia to help them turn the tide in their war with the aggressor Ukraine. Our Army hardware will be shared between Afghanistan and New Palestine. Thanks to the leadership of President Biden, the former already has 80 billion dollars of American weapons and the latter is a new state that we are morally obligated to strengthen and rebuild. Their new strength, coupled with our weapons, will act as a bulwark against any resurgent Zionism in that region. (applause)
Finally, I will appoint Barack Obama as special envoy for transfer of nuclear armaments to Iran. Given his earlier work in accelerating Iran’s domestic march to become a nuclear armed nation he is particularly qualified for this important mission. (applause)
I’m proud of the team I’ve assembled here. Each has strong relationships and the trust of these recipient nations. Having performed similar work in the past, I know they can achieve our goal, to imagine what can be, unburdened of this wasteful militarism that has been. (applause)
This historic new initiative will free resources to rebuild our economy. Right now, interest on the national debt is larger than our defense budget. Eliminating our military will allow my administration to nearly double our current national debt, double our interest costs, with no new taxes. No new taxes! I promise that as President I will double our national debt over just the next four years. Don’t believe that I can do that? President Biden and I spent 7 trillion dollars more than needed, not on things needed, needed things are more than the needs of the past, but on things Democrats want. We would have spent 5 trillion more if it weren’t for the apostate class traitors, Senators Joe Manchin and Kristen Sinema. When I’m President, no one will stop us! I will say yes to the things you want! Everything you want! Everything you want!! (pounds the podium, standing ovation, applause)
(DNC Delegates chant, “we want er’thing, we want er’thing, we want er’thing, … )
How will I spend 35 trillion dollars that fast? Our ambitious immigration goal is part of the answer. We will double our current population of 330 million with 330 million new citizen dependents at an estimated cost of 20 trillion dollars. We will implement the Bipartisan Comprehensive Immigration Reform Bill that failed to win a single extremist MAGA Republican vote. As our plan called for, we will rebrand the US Border Patrol the People’s Ambassadors of Love and Welcome, and put those agents to work administering and distributing the comprehensive new citizen benefits package I described earlier. (applause)
Next, we will scrap every internal combustion vehicle, vessel, and aircraft and replace them with China sourced battery-based equivalents, where possible. To power them, the Chinese will supply solar panels that will overlay all Federal lands in Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Utah, Kansas, Oklahoma, and Nevada. That will consume the balance of our military peace dividend. Under Joe Biden, we set a goal of carbon neutrality by 2050. I’m moving that goal to 2028. (applause)
There will necessarily be changes and small sacrifices. Electricity, for example, will be sporadically available only during the day. We will offshore dirty industries like steel, pharmaceuticals, and most manufacturing. AI is a profligate electric consumer so I will order any research and deployments of AI to cease. We will stop natural gas distribution which may cause some mild discomfort in the winter and difficulty growing and preparing food. But finding ourselves free of fossil fuel dependency will create hundreds of new green jobs. We will deploy a hand-picked Green Regiment of gender non-specific “theys” who will cap our wells, remove the pipelines, and disassemble our refineries and fuel retailers. All of this is a small price to pay to keep our year 2100 contribution to global temperature rise below 0.0273 degrees. (applause)
But obviously, that does not address every need of our expanded dependent citizenry. To meet that need we will continue the policies that I fought for in the Biden administration. Working with the Federal Reserve, I will appoint Senator Sanders to apply Modern Monetary Theory to greatly expand our monetary supply. If we need money to achieve our goals, then I will make it! (sings) The wheels on the press go round and round, round and round, round and round, all through DeeCee! (applause)
Trump and the radical extremist MAGA Republicans say that this will cause inflation. Well, I say that they are wrong! Over the last four years it is Mitch McConnel and the Republicans who have raised prices. Corporate greed is the root cause of the inflation we’ve all suffered. I will end corporate greed! (applause)
As President, I will create a new Washington based People’s Central Committee on Price Justice and Equity. This group of esteemed economists, trained by Marxist Professors like my father, will ensure that prices do not rise. In fact, we plan to reduce prices on the things that Americans need and use every day. Eggs too high? We will reduce them. Gasoline too high at $4.00? We can and will set the price at $1.50. We can have both, lower prices with higher spending for a more prosperous America. (applause)
But what about the rich paying their fair share? For too long, they haven’t. Again, with thanks to Senators Sanders and Warren, I will enact their proposed Tax on the People’s Stolen Wealth Act. Barack Obama was right when he said “you didn’t earn that.” People who own stocks, who own companies, large homes, commercial property, more land than needed to feed their families, more than one car, an airplane, art, vacation properties, or too many clothes and shoes. That wealth and those luxuries belong to all of us. Beginning in 2025, those will be taxed annually at 25% of their peak value so that by the end of my first term, they will become the people’s property, property we all will share. (applause)
Corporations will also participate in rebuilding the people’s trust. Working with my comrades in Congress, we will raise the corporate income tax rate to 100%. Instead of greedily handing money to their wealthy shareholders, my administration will share those profits with the people. I realize this will be controversial among Trump and his radical extremist MAGA supporters, but I don’t care! It’s the right thing to do! (applause)
Finally, we must deal with two perennial social issues, education and our legal system.
The Department of Education will now be shared between the National Education Association and the National Teachers Union. The NEA will oversee our schools east of the Mississippi, and the NTU those west. Under Union leadership I will demand the removal of all achievement measures and the immediate closure of all private, religious, and charter schools. Ibram X. Kendi said that “Standardized tests have become the most effective racist weapon ever devised to objectively degrade Black and Brown minds.” Some say that our schools are failing. I say that we need to stop racist testing and stop asking racist questions! Don’t tell me that black children can’t read! That’s racist! (applause)
Teachers know how best to run our schools. I trust them to do the right thing. If they tell me that closing schools and eliminating the concepts of study, exams, and classrooms are the path to academic success, then that’s what I will do. We need to forever drop the old Eur0-colonial whiteness paradigm of reading, writing, and arithmetic. There’s more to knowledge than those tired patriarchal subjects. We’re going to teach children about identity, the panoply of sexual expression, oppressors, colonialism, microagressions, pronouns, equity, justice, and rights. They will learn the superiority of other nations and cultures. Those are the things that will matter in their lives, the real ideas that matter, that add meaning in matter, and matter in the idea’s meaning! (applause)
As for the Courts, I will soon announce my plan to expand the Supreme Court and overturn Trump’s extremist radical right-wing agenda. Our new judges will determine that privileged women over a certain income must have abortions. Under my administration, genetic wealth privilege will end. (applause)
And working with Planned Parenthood, we will offer free, taxpayer paid, abortions to every person in America and set minimum goals for every state. Right now, only Oregon, New Mexico, Colorado, Minnesota, Vermont, New Jersey, and D.C. allow post birth abortions. I will sign an executive order on Day 1 to allow 4th trimester abortions coast-to-coast. (standing ovation, applause)
Our newest Justice, the diverse Jumanji Jackson couldn’t define a woman. Well, I can’t either. So Joe and I recently submitted new Title IX rules that will finally force men to compete in women’s sports. Those were rejected by the extremist Robert’s Court, but our expanded Supreme Court will ratify those changes. Following Justice Jackson’s wise leadership, we will also grant men new rights and access to abortion. My plan will enshrine a man’s right to choose. When faced with an unwanted pregnancy, a man will have the right to compel their birthing person to end that unjust obligation. Let no child, no child, be unwanted! (applause)
Hillary Clinton taught us long ago that “it takes a village” to raise a child. Therefore, we recognize that parents are never qualified to make important decisions for their children’s lives. Children’s rights, their right to be who they want to be, to be their authentic selves independent of their birth assignments, demand that we codify a teacher’s right to transgender any and every child. In another expansion of children’s rights, we will erase that line that forbids love between adults and children, something that has been especially challenging for our most caring teachers. Our teachers love our children, (applause!) … they should be free to express that love in a way that is free, open, and freely open to all. (standing ovation, applause)
Under my administration, we will celebrate families that reflect your values. If a man wants to marry 5 women and two men, we must support that. If a convicted criminal doesn’t want to go to jail, he or she will not be forced into unjust incarceration. If an unhoused person needs to sleep on your property, it is cruel, inhumane, to deny them. They have a Constitutional Right to sleep. If a person needs food or medicine and lacks the means to pay for it, it is their right to take it. It’s time for a new era of rights in America, and my new judges and justices will deliver those rights and freedoms for the American People. (applause)
Before I close, I wish to acknowledge my dear husband, Doug. Doug, I want to thank you for having that affair where you impregnated your daughter’s nanny. If you hadn’t done that, your first wife wouldn’t have divorced you, which enabled me to marry into your significant wealth. Being married to the man the Washington Post calls “a modern-day sex symbol,” means that I have to be open to sharing you from time to time, something that Hillary and I sometimes joke about. I say it’s just part of being a powerful Democrat woman! So Doug, I love you and soon you’ll be our first, First Gentleman! (applause)
With your support, with your vote, with your many votes, with votes from people who can’t vote, with your ancestor’s votes, we are going to flood America with a bountiful harvest of votes! And your votes are votes of love, love that will carry us to a new America. An America where people are free, free to do whatever they wish, unbound by the old rules and restrictions, unburdened by what has been. Free of responsibility, free of worry, free of judgment. Free to be who they truly are. I spent many years helping to make San Francisco, then California, that kind of just and inclusive place. President Obama, President Biden, and I as Vice President, began that work to transform our nation but it’s not finished. Join me in that journey, as together, we unite to build a new people, people full of joy, full of electricity, full of equity, within a new people’s utopia. Thank you, and may the God of Horns, the Ravana of Old, Mephistopheles, and Allah bless America. (standing ovation, long applause)