Why “The Railer?” Short answer is that’s what my friends call me. It is an honorary title, bestowed after years of no holds barred, no minced words, laser cutting discourse on a host of beer lubricated topics.
“To rail” is an engineering verb, a natural word amongst my like-minded peers. It means that a system output is at the extreme and would go even further given the means. If you engaged your car’s cruise control and it pushed the pedal to the floor, never letting up, that is “railed.” When the indicator needle snaps to the right, past the last numbers, the moving coil glowing orange, trying to wrap the needle around the stop peg – that’s railed. In “This is Spinal Tap,” the fake rockers have custom amps where the knobs are labeled 1 to 11, not 1 to 10 like everyone else’s. Set to 11 – that’s railed. Red lights flashing, klaxons sounding, smoke rising – that’s when you know that your system is railed.
So how did The Railer earn that distinguished title? It was earned by merciless shredding of dumb public figures and their idiotic ideas. A favored Railer verbal wrestling move is reductio ad absurdum: adopt whatever point an idiot is offering and describe all the wonderful things that result. Chateau Heartiste called this “agree and amplify.” Examples: “too many people of color are in jails today.” Well then, let’s just let them all out so that they can resume their mayhem in the communities from whence they came. “Felons should be able to vote.” You’re right! What our society needs most right now is the wisdom of felons. How about “we need to love and embrace undocumented immigrants.” Well Barack Obama, Michael Moore, Chuck Schumer, Susan Saran Wrap, Liawatha Warren, how many would you like to feed, clothe, and support in your home? We have millions you can choose from.
Mathematics also offers a scientific method often wielded by The Railer, a trick called induction. If something is true for one, then how about two? If true for two, then what about three? And before you know it, the libtard argument crumbles before your eyes. When San Fran Nan, (House Speaker Nancy Legosi) said that “For every dollar a person receives in food stamps, … $1.79 is put back into the economy,” the Railer pounced. Well, then why don’t we ALL go on food stamps? We’ll all be Jeff Bezos in no time.
Most liberals are unable to think one step beyond their poopytalk, rainbows, and prancing unicorn tableau. The Railer’s mission is to show them that next step, point out the unmentionable elephant standing astride them, and show how their naive Utopian vision inevitably leads to ruin.